The god-trepreneurs, By Wole Olaoye

the-god-trepreneurs,-by-wole-olaoye

Enter the godtrepreneurs. They are a brand novel breed of salvation retailers advertising and marketing God to the weary for a rate. Christian or Muslim (nonetheless mostly Christian) their theology is uniquely mercantilist and extortionist. While some characteristic from in style auditoriums total with the razzmatazz of contemporary technology, others vend their non secular wares from no mounted address. The wretched, who assume that the hypnotist has a secret key to unlock the gate of abundance, create up the elevated proportion of his/her patrons.

Woe unto thee O land whose destiny is ruled by superstition as a change of production, thou shall continue to be vassals of the diligent, hewers of water and fetchers of firewood for the family of your worn enslavers.

Granted that the history of the sunless man has been tempestuous, nonetheless up-to-the-minute happenings present that the long scramble of the tear will be even more so if the horrifying vogue of zombifying thousands and thousands of other folks within the name of religion will not be reversed. While the remainder of the sector is conquering their ambiance, we’re busy hypnotising our other folks, mystifying their very existence to the extent of robbing them of both their earthly possessions and capacity for rational taking into consideration.

Enter the godtrepreneurs. They are a brand novel breed of salvation retailers advertising and marketing God to the weary for a rate. Christian or Muslim (nonetheless mostly Christian) their theology is uniquely mercantilist and extortionist. While some characteristic from in style auditoriums total with the razzmatazz of contemporary technology, others vend their non secular wares from no mounted address. The wretched, who assume that the hypnotist has a secret key to unlock the gate of abundance, create up the elevated proportion of his/her patrons.

Nonetheless, at the same time as you do a query to deeply enough, even the filthy rich in society and many tenants of energy have one ‘essential’ marabout or the different, pastor, prophet or man of God who claims to have an instantaneous line to Heaven and its bounties.

The story modified into as soon as as soon as told by a pal who, you’d higher be warned, can’t be described as an adherent of any religion, even supposing, if my conception mattered, he would possibly be a veritable candidate for heaven or paradise or wherever else righteous other folks are presupposed to total up after their earthly exertions.

Based on the story, a approved native champion, a man of God with a thriving ministry in my neck of the woods, who chewed prophesies and modified into as soon as in overall believed to be God’s emissary in saving humanity from the reside times (which, he sternly warned, modified into as soon as imminent), threw a event for his graduating daughter in whom he modified into as soon as properly relaxed. The jollity modified into as soon as proceeding with out incident until one in every of the invitees shouted, “Reward the Lord”.

Because the man of God ecstatically raised his hand and spoke back, “Alleluia!”, his fingers obtained caught by the blades of the rolling ceiling fan.

He screamed, “Shango o o o!!!

Now, Shango is the Yoruba god of protest. His name most often doesn’t putrid the lips of a pastor until in derision. Nonetheless gaze who this merchant of salvation referred to as in his time of wound! You never know what a man is serving until he is confronted with a existence-threatening scenario.

Or, take hang of the case of a one-time presidential candidate of one in every of the approved political parties, Alhaji Omilajoamuku. man and effective philanthropist in his obtain accurate, he made up our minds to throw his hat into the ring after a coterie of ‘concerned electorate’ and ‘revolutionary youths’ threatened to distress themselves if the coolest alhaji did not accede to their seek files from by filing his papers for the presidency.

There’ll not be any man that’s so virtuous as to be entirely proof against flattery. Alhaji Omilajoamuku made up our minds to recognise his obtain messianic skills. First, he didn’t gaze anything else gruesome in paying for the ‘patriotic’ advocacy of ‘stress groups’, even supposing the remainder of the country knew that those rabble rousers were mere political jobbers adroit at advertising and marketing political spare parts to whoever desired to overtake the engine of his brittle ego.

By and by, the presidential aspirant modified into as soon as launched to a marabout in Senegal who promptly predicted his victory at the primaries and the standard elections. He modified into as soon as made to pay for the non secular intervention of forty Islamic prayer gladiators who, I modified into as soon as told, would not gaze the sun for forty days nonetheless exhaust your total time in fasting and prayer. He complied. Then he modified into as soon as launched to a pair other essential intercessors in Mauritania and Saudi Arabia. The non secular aspect of the electoral preparation value him untold thousands and thousands.


Overjoyed that he had settled one arm of the advertising and marketing campaign, the non secular one, he pursued the political one with gusto. Billions of naira were unleashed in pursuit of the dream. Two weeks sooner than the event primaries, Alhaji Omilajoamuku jetted to the Center-East to meet the ideal ranking of his marabouts, who had instructed that he needed to return for some particular invocations 14 days to D-Day.

On arrival at the man’s region condominium, he noticed a sombre crowd clogging the freeway. By the level he managed to fetch entrance into the yard, he noticed that the Muslim devoted were reciting the Ṣalāt al-Janāzah, the Islamic funeral prayer.

The chief marabout who had an instantaneous line to God and who had assured our pal of victory had died on the very day he promised to do a seal of finality on Alhaji’s impending victory.

Loss of life is a merciless customer. The Caller turns into the Called – and he not respond.

Even Alhaji modified into as soon as not surprised when he lost the primaries and immediate receded to the political junkyard from whence he had emerged. Man can continue playing your total pranks within the sector. Nonetheless God will be God. And he brooks no competitors.

Within the midst of our underdevelopment, the final thing we can have the funds for is the novel mass hypnosis being mis-advertised on tv as televangelism. Now, don’t derive me gruesome. There are superior, spirit-stuffed televangelists living as much as their calling. There are staunch pastors whose critical preoccupation is main other folks to Christ. Nonetheless there are also charlatans, contemporary day versions of Soyinka’s Brother Jero.

Seven years within the past, a hypnotist gave existence to Karl Max’s rivalry that, “Religion is the recount of the oppressed creature, the coronary heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless stipulations. It is far the opium of the opposite folks.”

Reverend Njohi, pastor of the Lord’s Propeller Redemption Church in Kenya, ordered the female contributors of his congregation to attend church with out any make of undies so that Christ could well well enter their lives. Based on the Kenyan Put up, which reported the story, the ‘man of God’ warned contributors that there would possibly be terrible consequences within the event that they tried to secretly do on bra or pant. What system of God interacts with His worshippers via their genitals?

In South Africa, Prophet Penuel Mnguni of the Quit Times Disciples’ Ministries in Gauteng, shy the sector when he requested contributors of his congregation short of prayers to strip bare and lie on the bottom. The unfriendly photos of the prayer session describe the younger man stepping on his practically bare worshippers. He had also, at diversified times, instructed his congregation to eat grass, eat dog meat and swallow reside snakes!

He modified into as soon as later crushed up by some offended youths in Mmakaunyane Village. Youths from the Economic Freedom Warring parties burnt his church at Soshanguve in Tshwane and tied him and an acolyte with rope. The charismatic pastor at final damage up at T.B. Joshua’s Synagogue church in Lagos, Nigeria, attempting for deliverance from the cocktail of demons directing his gruesome ministry.

Everywhere Nigeria, now we have cases of ‘males of God’ preying on their prayerful congregations. It is far so prevalent that no-one raises an eyebrow anymore when a pastor acquires a non-public jet when his ‘flock’ reside in abject poverty. It wasn’t so many a few years within the past when clerics were approved by their subscription to the vows of Poverty, Chastity and Obedience. Now now we have other folks feasting on God’s name. Non secular entrepreneurs: These that smile to the monetary institution within the name of the Lord.

We’re in an generation when Africans are attempting for Christian and Muslim Dibias, not clerics. The plague is worldwide.

Bishop Michael Reid modified into as soon as the pastor at Trinity Church from the early 1980s to 2008. He traditional his mantra, ‘No Miracles – No Jesus’, to elevate his obtain ministry and de-market other pastors, thereby persuading other folks to have a study him. One scandalised blogger who had followed Reid’s profession and eventual downfall wrote: “Reid and his other folks destroyed a mountainous collection of folk and families”. It gave the influence Reid’s definitive take a look at for his ‘Man of God’ predicament modified into as soon as ‘No kindness – no decency – no honesty – no integrity – no Jesus’.

There are many staunch-to-God Christian and Islamic clerics on the market. Nonetheless they are rapid changing into an endangered species as “Let us pray” has now change into “Let us prey”.

Lord have mercy!

Wole Olaoye is also reached via wole.olaoye@gmail.com.

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